More power lines
via reddit.com
so you’re telling me that “stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni” would be like saying “wrote a G on his belt and called it gucci”
that’s…a pretty good analogy actually
US moron came to town
Hunting for some coochie
Wrote a G up on his belt
And this bitch called it Gucci
Seeing my notifications get flooded with this every July 4th is the only thing I respect about America
my one skill is expertly manipulating the shape of the eggs I’m cooking so that they fit perfectly onto my toast every time
Bow down to your king
I can’t stop outdoing myself
Remember that post? The one that said “what if we all have super powers but they’re so mundane we don’t realize?” That post? This is proof that post was right
almost peed my pants today when my bf told me about this dude in his hometown who dressed up like ryan gosling in Drive every day (including driving gloves) but did not own a car. bf was like “yeah we called him Walk”
dmv: can i have you birth certificate
me: i dont have it but you can trust! 😁✌️
dmv: ok! 😁✌️here is your license
me: its so small and cute! 😳
dmv: just like you! ☺️
can't get an algorithm like this on twitter
ALT
ALT
ALTSpoiler-free teaser for the new Monster Factory episode that's coming out this Wednesday. 👀
when I'm just walking around and something makes me screech to a halt and my eyeballs shoot out like binoculars and I gotta drop everything to take photos
ugh yeah that's the good shit